Wednesday, September 3, 2008

i love you but i can't

Obviously this is what i have become, someone i always feared I'd be.
I'm not the type of person to be jealous but i can't help myself.
She has taken my place and i have no say in what is happening.
She's so great and so perfect that even i don't compare to her.
You make such a great couple and i should be happy for you
but i'm not because i'm still in love with you.
A small part of me is happy that you found someone
but most of me is dying inside at the thought of you being with someone else.
You seemed so happy when you were with me
but when it ended you moved on so straight away.
I didn't for i just kept holding on,
hoping that someday you will come back to me.
You said that we'll always be best friends which is great
but it still breaks me heart to see that some other girl
makes you feel the way i used to make you feel.
I'm fooling myself thinking that you will come back to me,
i'm being a fool thinking that we were meant to be
but how can that be if you are happily taken by someone else
who obviously is not me.
She's a lucky girl to have you, i know you'll make her happy
just like you made me feel.
You'll always be special to me
and i will always love you until the day i die.
I asked for you to give me space,
and i'm so pleased you agreed.
I said 3 months at the most
and i stick by that, i just need to do this for me.
I need to move on and leave you behind
but after all this i know we'll go back to how we used to be,
Best friends until the very end.
Its been 2 weeks since i lasted talked to you
and trust me i miss you so much
but i know i need to complete the time to know
i don't have to be so Dependant on you
and that i can do things on my own.
Its just hard because i see you everyday at school.
What we had before was great and i know i'll have that with someone else
but when i had it with you it felt perfect but i know
you won't come back to me because i know she is better than me.
Some times i feel that you never really loved me like you said you did
and nowadays since i'm not talking to you
you make it seem like you still feel for me like you did before.
You never wanted to hurt me, was what you said to me.
You said that nothing will change, that what we have is special
and we were perfect the way we were.
What happened to that, it does hurt and everything changed.
What we had is gone and theres no way we'll get that back.
You're my best friends and trust me nothing will change that
but most times now you make it seem like you don't even care anymore
and that cuts me deeply, More than you could possibly know.
You have convinced me that i mean nothing to you, by the way you're acting .
Yes i know i came up with this whole thing of not talking for 3 months
but that wasn't the signal for you to give up on me.
When i said best friends till the end
i meant it and i won't take that back.
You've given up on me cause i'm not talking to you
and it breaks my heart more than you already did .
i love you so much as my best friend and as much much more
i just can't accept that you're with someone else.
I never wanted you to give up on me and i hope you don't
i love you best friend always and forever.
And thats what i promise to you until the day i die
Always And Forever!!