Sunday, February 28, 2010

Convo w/ the ex II

Okay the last convo happened on the 22nd of Feb. Well i talked to him again today cause like it was his birthday, so i wanted to greet him. Yes i remembered. well i kinda screwed it up LOL but he didn’t mind.

Heres how todays convo went

Me:
Happy Birthday


Him:
lol thanks, ur the first one to say so
how didi u remeber


Me:
i just always will LOL
really?
its like 12 o'clock
and no-one has said it yeah?
yet*


Him:
nope
lol im preety lonley these days


Me:
nawwww that can't be true
well if it makes you feel better
i got rejected a couple of days ago

Him:
nah that don make me feel better lol
ur a good girl u deserve to be happy

Me:
nawww thanks, yeah but i guess it was for the best cause he is my bestfriend LOL
sounds familar?

Him:
lol yeh

Me:
yeah but i'm fine with it hahahaha
are you doing anything for your birthday?

Him:
lol did stuff last night
just got really messy

Me:
LOL sounds awesome lol

Him:
yeh lol so do u drink yet or u still gg

Me:
fuck you LOL, nah i still don't drink, well i've had like 1 drink but i hated it YUCK, and plus i felt bad after it and like told my dad
promised not to drink till i'm 18 :)

Him:
lol hahahaha wtf who tells their parents lol

Me:
i do
hahahha
cause i love my rents

Him:
lol hahahaha

Me:
dude i've missed talking to you like this

Him:
lol y
im nothing special no talk to or even know

Me:
to me you were, you just chose to stop liking me

Him:
lol i always liked u, just we wer to different

Me:
yeah i didn't care about that, you know that

Him:
i know

Me:
at least now i'm not hurting anymore, right?!

Him:
ye

Me:
:)
i'm glad we're all good now :D remember you promised to be in my future

Him:
lol i will

Me:
hahahaha yay

Him:
lol

 

Skipped a bit :P

 

Me:
how have you been?

Him:
good

Me:
thats good
i really should start studying LOL

Him:
lol im playing xbox
i don need to study
thats wat i don miss about school
homework

Me:
hahaha
i have exams in like a week

Him:
lol shame

Me:
lol kinda sucks
all my friends are studying
nothing to do till after exams

Him:
yeh i know

Me:
i just wanna go out today, see my bestfriend but he's studying ><"

Him:
lol who the hell is it

Me:
wouldn't you like to know LOL

Him:
yes i would

Me:
hahahaha
well guess what
i'm not saying :P

Him:
please

Me:
hahahaha
why should i aye ;)

Him:
cause im ur freind

Me:
hahahaha
fine fine
no laughing
or judging
or i'll cry

Him:
u know i wont

Me:
It's ..... (Not putting name up LOL)

Him:
ok kool

Me:
been my bestfriend for the last year since i stopped being friends with like people

Him:
which people

Me:
people, ex friends

Him:
who

Me:
LOL you're a curious person

Him:
i know

Me:
lol

Him:
LOL

Me:
anyways
i've been talking heaps LOL

Him:
LOL

Me:
but then again i've always been like that LOL

Him:
yeh i know

Me:
remember back in the days when we'd talk on the phone for AGES

Him:
lol yeh
i would always end up late for school cause of u
or get home from work and nana would be like o yeh louise called again

Me:
LOL hahahaha i never made you late for school LOL
yeah i did call you alot

Him:
lol

Me:
your mum was nice to me LOL

Him:
lol she nice to all girls i know

Me:
hahaha

Him:
she said wow she seems really shy and timid
i was like o hell yeh

Me:
hahaha
about me ?

Him:
yeh

Me:
hahahaha stuff you
i was only like that around you

Him:
y

Me:
cause i loved you hahahaha

Him:
lol

Me:
LOL looking back on it
i feel stupid LOL

Him:
y

Me:
lets not talk about it
making things awkward

Him:
so u regret liking me

Me:
no i never said that
if i regreted liking you i wouldn't have held on to you for so long
i wished everyday you'd turn around and come back to me but you never did
me liking you
kept me from looking at other guys the same way i looked at you
i loved you so much
and then i stopped waiting and you went out with someone else
that killed me
that made me want to die
i couldn't see you without wanting to cry
i gave you my whole heart and you didn't give me yours
thats why i feel stupid about it

Him:
ok

Me:
seee thats all you can say, thats all you ever say "Ok"
okay i'm not mad
its just like opening up a box buried for years
it takes you back ><"

Him:
a boy sits there and trys to justify what he did
a man realises and accepts he has done wrong, i did wrong by u, i know that, i don wanna make up some lame excuse
ther is no excuse

Me:
i know
i just got irritated when you said i regreted liking you
cause i know i didn't
i loved you for so long, i never gave up, never got over it
now everything i do i just remember stuff i did with you

Him:
wat stuff
u wouldnt even let me kiss u

Me:
i replay that afternoon in my mind so many times
like would have made a difference
would i ever be with you after it

Him:
i don know

Me:
exactly
i wanted to make sure i knew
before i made that choice
i regreted it so much when me and you kinda ended
i regreted it
i guess i was scared

Him:
i know

Me:
for so long it was you i just wanted to be with, idk why i held on, i guess i thought no-one else would want me after that
for a while
all i talked about was you
i cried so much
even now with him, i keep comparing the 2 of you
why?, idk
i couldn't even give him a simple kiss on the cheek
i'm not sure why i become scared
i just am
i'm scared of losing people i love
like i lost you
(BTW sorry for all of this on your birthday)

Him:
nah its cool not much else to do

Me:
i guess i've been holding it in for a while
i know i'm over you, cause it faded when i fell in love with someone else
but not a day goes by that i still think about what happened
and what i could have done different to make it last

Him:
like wat

Me:
being less emo
not writing that email to you
idk if you remember
it was like this letter i wrote putting myself down
we had a huge fight after
being less clingy

Him:
yeh u always uste to put urself down that pissed me off

Me:
i know

Him:
u wernt clingy

Me:
sure i wasn't
*rolls eyes*

Him:
u wer at times but not alot

Me:
exactly
if i didn't do any of that
maybe it would of made a difference
if i wasn't so determined to change you
maybe i wouldn't have hurt so much

Him:
yeh that never works

Me:
i know

Him:
i don change for people
i am wat i am

Me:
i know
did you really ever like me?

Him:
lol i did, y do u think i tried to kiss u

Me:
idk

Him:
cause i liked u
i don just kiss a girl for no reson

Me:
true
i'm sorry
i'm a bit frigit

Him:
lol dw
have u ever kissed a guy befor

Me:
no, i guess i haven't found the right guy yet

Him:
lol ok

Me:
plus you were the only one who wanted to kiss me
apparently i'm better as a friend than a girlfriend

Him:
i don know

Me:
thats what all the guys say LOL
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

idk why but our convos somehow end up with us talking about our past. I DON’T LOVE HIM ANYMORE

i know thats true. Just the memories hurt. after this i got all confused. especially when he says he always liked me

so much confusion

i do miss how i was with him

but i’m over him cause i love someone else now

this convo was just really bad

we keep talking about what happened

at least this time we didn’t fight

we usually did

YES TO CLARIFY, I’VE NEVER BEEN KISSED

because i’m waiting for the right guy for my first

my ex just wasn’t that guy

<3

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