Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I love you Bestfriend

today was like any other day

except my emotions got in the way

it all started at recess

A.P the guy wanted to talk to me

and as we were talking Him comes in

and when i was done talking to A.P

i gave him the chain i got for him

since he lost the other one

that was all good and well

i still got jealous cause he spent a lot of time

with this other girl, M.D

she’s cool

and she’s my friend but i did get jealous

well then recess was over

and i waited for him to come back to me

but he just stayed with M.D

so i just went to class

the next time i saw him was at lunch

and again he didnt talk to me

spent the time with M.D

then at the end of the day i just got really pissed cause he went on the bus with ANOTHER chick

and so i just walked to the station by myself

full pissed

and then i saw him

and just stormed past him

and as i turned around

he stood in front of me

and asked if i was mad at him for not walking with me

i said i wasnt

but he knew it was about him

i was just so fed up with him choosing other chicks

cause i get jealous so easy

and he should know that

it just really annoys me

and make me feel unworthy

like i’m not pretty enough

or smart enough

or just all together

ENOUGH

so i like told him how i felt

and then he didnt get that it wasnt the same as him and A.P the guy

like i like him ALOT

its not the same

i freaking just wish he would see me like he does his other girl friends

but like its like he doesnt

my sisters made me realised i was wrong

and i get it

i over acted

and like we’re bestfriends

not going out or shit

and like i know that kills me inside

but i got to be his friend

idk

our friendship is like so private

compare us at school with us when we’re by ourselves

its different

fuck

why

idk

i know i was wrong and i will speak to him when i can

but right now

idk

FUCK

i walked from his bus stop

he was with me

but then i was alone

and all i did was cry

i was that upset

like i like him

and i feel like i’m nothing compared to these other girls

even if i’m his bestfriend :(

i still love him very much

but how can i be content with life if he doesnt return the love

he said to me not to kill my self

since i have been so depressed lately

he said he’ll be very sad

and like yeah

but i’ll always be in his heart

i just said in sarcasm

how cute

when i really did think it was cute ><”

idk what to do anymore

<3

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