Wednesday, March 31, 2010

dreams

having dreams about him every night
they're not clear anymore
and i can't remember a whole lot of it
but i know i never want to wake from them
it makes me sad
cause my dreams show me happiness
while my reality is showing me hurt
well a bit of hurt
i'm mostly happy these days
thanks to his friendship and love
i love you bestfriend
<3

Rain Rain Rain

well today was different
this morning i got to school late
kinda i guess
well i didn't see him till recess
@ recess i didn't really talk to him
i just remember walking to the bathroom
and as i passed him he said hi to me
and when i heard him say my name
i turned around with a smile and waved at him
the next time i talked to him after that was at lunch
my bestfriend, A.P the girl
was telling me her score for physics
and i straight away asked what his score was
the good thing was he passed
but the bad thing was that i knew he wasn't happy with it
well she then told me he stayed back to talk to the teacher
it was just me and J.M, the girl at lunch
cause the other two had other stuff to do
well i saw him walk out of the class
and he came up to me and said he failed physics
told you he wasn't happy
well i told him at least he passed and stuff
and then we started talking about it
and his goal to beat this guy in his class
i gave him a big hug to comfort him
i was still hugging him and like holding on
but he moved away
which cut me deep
he didn't do it meanly
but i was still cut
well then yeah we talked about other stuff
then he walked off to sit with other people
i said and waved bye to him
as he walked off
and he turned and waved back too with a smile
then me and J.M, the girl
started talking about him
i was telling her how i don't like when he is disappointed and how i'm scared he'll be disappointed again on the next exam
and i was telling her how smart he is and how he is capable of a lot
but he gets upset when he doesn't reach what he is aiming for which upsets me
The next time i talked or saw him, was at the end of period 5
i was heading towards me class
and i guess i zoned off cause i didn't notice him until he called out my name again
i saw him in surprise as i didn't know he had a class in my english classroom
of course at not the same time as me
LOL
well then we started talking and he was telling me how he had english in the same class room as me
i was shocked
then i said bye to him and he walked to class
and i did too
as he walked away i realised i should of asked him how he was going home
which brings us to the next time i spoke or saw him
at the end of the day
i was thinking if i should catch bus or walk to the station
i saw him just turn a corner and make his way to the station
i then decided i would walk.
i walked at a good pace
not slow, not fast
i kept me eye on him
walking further and further away
he didn't know i was behind him
so fair enough he didn't stop
well i kept walking
and talking to myself saying how i won't make it to him
and that i'll be fine if i don't
well i finally got to the station but he was out of site
i guess he was able to catch the earlier bus
i was then sad
but oh well i got exercise
and i can see him tomorrow
but if i told him i would walk this arvo
he would of walked with me
but i didn't making it my fault
but thats fine
i'll hang with him tomorrow maybe
tomorrow is the last day of the term.
2 more terms till i finish school
can't wait
but then again still scared
i love him
and i love you guys
<3333
stay awesome
:)