Friday, June 25, 2010

One guy THEN Two guys

yep basically the title says it all
well let me first tell you about my day with HIM
and then i will tell you about my day with J.M the guy
yeah thats right
i'm putting it out there cause he is one of my bestfriends and like
IDK

HIM;
well today i knew that if i saw him
i would know that i love him very much
and i did see him
and i did know i love him very much
the first time i saw him was at the beginning of recess
he was trying to figure out which locker was his
cause he lost his key last year
and now he cant rememeber which one is it LOL
well i went up to him
we hugged and said hello
and then he walked off to find something i think
well after that i went to my group
and then i went to Talk to A.C the girl and M.C
but more on that later
i kept staring at him
thinking how great he is
how he is my bestfriend
and also how he is different from J.M the guy
i didnt talk or anything with him after that
well at least that i could think of
i saw him a couple of times
but it wasnt until the end of the day
when i saw him at the school entrance
i tapped him on the shoulder
and we said hi to each other
we then started talking about
assignments
and multicultural day
and how he is going to Queensland for the first week of holidays
stuff like that
i called him a bitch
cause he was going to queensland for the first week
and he made a sad face and said i know
and i just replied
"dont worry, i still love you"
idk if it is too soon to say that again
but he seemed OK with it
but it might of just brought on too much
idk, and i'm not gonna worry
cause it annoys him when i worry
and then we hugged and i went off to walk to the station while he caught bus
i walked with L.C the guy
since he broke up with his girlfriend, he generally walks
and yeah so i walk with him
He started to tell me how his ex goes up to (HIM) and asks for hugs
which i found that okay at first until L.C the guy told me that she never hugged him
when they were going out
then i started to think it was wrong
well we eventually got to the station
after a good talk
and he went to go buy a drink
when we came out of the shop
we saw HIM and the other boys
we walked up to them
and like talked for a bit
i then happened to mention L.C the guy was single
HIM was like "REALLY"
me and A.P the guy just laughed
cause thats like old news now
well he then hugged L.C the guy
and then he started to tell us how he had bird a bird shit on his shoulder
L.C the guy was like good i didnt touch it lol
and then i was like there there to HIM, touching his other shoulder
and then he's like theres bird shit
and kept putting it to my face
i was like wtf
and just kept laughing
he then walked off to like buy something with the other boys
while i stayed with L.C the guy and A.P the guy
and yeah we talked
then all of a sudden the boys came back
and so we went to the bus bay
and then the bus came
and i said bye to L.C the guy
and went on to the bus
i sat down and as HIM walked past me to sit on the bus
i gave him a hi five and he smiled at me
which makes my heart melt everytime
i then sat on the bus alone
and then it stopped at his stop
he said bye to his boys
and i waited
for that simple smile
for that simple wave
but nothing he just walked off the bus
and i just sat in my seat looking at him walk away
as my heart started to cry
i was cut
not even a goodbye
not anything
my day seemed only half fulfilled
by him at least

J.M the guy;
i see him every morning
and mostly throughout the day
he walked into the room
and suddenly i felt what i have been feeling for the past couple of days
i had a crush on him
but i didnt know how deep
before i continue i better write some stuff about like last night
well last night was creative arts night
and like i went with M.C and my little sister
the beginning was quite boring so me and M.C walked out
then the doors opened for the art show and stuff
so we went in to have a look
eventually i bumped into him
and like then i hugged him
from the side at least
then he had his arm around me
for like a few seconds
and i we like walked for a bit
and i asked if he was performing
and he told me he was
and so i said i would def. watch it
then he went off somewhere
not quite sure where
i saw him again when we were still walking
i saw him calling after his mum
which i found cute
i went up to him and asked if that was his parents
and he was full like yeah
and i told him how he looked nothing like them LOL
and he was full like thank you
and we hugged
then he went after his mum again
then it was his performance
and when he got up there i full was WOOOOOOOOOOOing
and when it was done i full yelled his name
while WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOing
it was very awesome
he was AMAZING up there
at the end of the night
i went looking for him and i found him
he was looking for one of the teachers
and he started to full shake me
then i told him how great he did
and he said thank you
and we full hugged
he then lifted me
and while still hugging and carrying me
he started to turn to the sides
left and right
it was fun and really cute
then he told me how his rents wanted to go home
well then he left
the last time i saw him that night was when he walked past me
he was talking to his rents
but he had the time to stop
and smile at me
and i yelled back saying see you tomorrow
which started all this confusion that occurred to me when i woke up this morning
so now back to where i was up to
as he walked into the room
i felt my heart sink a bit
he is so cute
and so sweet and nice to me
and i saw him in a way i didnt usually see him
until now
i was sitting on the table
and he was sitting on the one behind me
then moved to the chair behind me
i then turned and talked to him
we talked about the other night
and stuff like that
he started looking at photos on his itouch from the night
and they were good
we then talked bout his awesome guitar skill LOL
the class was now involved
and yeah
i played with his hair
kinda
then the bell rang
and i started talking to him
like how was he
at this point i had my arm around him
and because he was so tall
it was difficult
i asked him what did he have now
and like he totally didnt know
i then guessed what he had
according to what he usually had when i had study or religion
and i got it RIGHT
he was full laughing
saying thank you
then i said bye and walked to class
i then spoke to him a bit at the end of period 3
as i was heading to my next class
i bumped into him
and we hugged while
he asked how i was
and i said okay
i then asked him what he had that period
he told me i think religion
and he then asked me the same thing
and i said english
then we both smiled
waved at each other
and walked apart
the next time i spoke to him cause i like see him alot
was in my period 5 class
which i have with him i was at the front
as my teacher was marking my book
so i started to talk to him and his friend
they totally looked like they were doing work LOL like always
LOL not even
well then at the end of the class as usual
at the end of math
we hug :)
and then we talk for a bit before we go apart
we talk about random stuff
sometimes about math
sometimes about other stuff
today was about the new Prime Minister
cause its a female
they were making sexist jokes
well i then became late for class
i said i needed to give an assignment in
we hugged a last time
and i told him to have a good weekend
and he told me to have a good weekend too
we smiled then went to class

That was the day with both of them
my two best guy friends
they both make me heart beat fast
just HIM makes it go faster than J.M the guy does
i love HIM very much
that will never change
he is my bestfriend
and like the best thing to walk into my life
and J.M is one of the sweetest guys i know
he is easy to talk to
and like says the nicest stuff to me

i woke up feeling confused
at this point i know who i love, or like
and its not J.M
its HIM
i know i might have a little crush on J.M but its not like how i feel for HIM
i asked a couple of people for advice
the first person i asked was E.M this morning
i told her
and she asked me who i felt with my heart
do i want to be with
and i said J.M cause he is so much nicer to me nowadays
but i love HIM so much more than J.M
she told me to see what happens in a couple of months
like whats the course of my life
destine, fate
i then asked A.C and M.C at recess
and M.C told me how she likes HIM more for me
than she does J.M
she saw how i was at creative arts
i was close to him but she knows i love HIM more
and he seems more perfect for me
A.C knows i love HIM more
but she also told me how J.M is also a nice guy
and i know he is
the funny thing at this point was that HIM and J.M are also friends
and me and A.C full turned to look at them
and we saw them wave at each other ><"
grrrr my two guy bestfriends
and i'm confused LOL
and they are friends
even worse
K.C told me during study
that i like HIM more
cause i talk about him more
that like yeah i like him more
its so obvious
A.P the girl then said how i like HIM more too
and i also told L.C the girl
the whole story
all she said was WOW and yeah she didnt know what to do
i believe them all
cause its true
i do love and like HIM more than i do J.M
it just how it is
i am like really good friends with J.M
he is like my other guy bestfriend
and like i love him like a friend
he makes me smile and laugh
and makes me feel better when i'm sad
but so does HIM
but in a different way
he is my bestfriend
and i love him with my heart and soul
he makes everything better
with a hug, hello and a goodbye
just a smile from him makes me happy
i'm in love with him very much
i just feel that with HIM
me and him can only talk when we're alone
when he is with no-one i can hug and talk to him
and nothing feels weird
like we're better outside of school
on the phone and such
like cause we hardly hang out in school
like we kinda do but not as much
but we're still bestfriends
BUT its different with J.M
in school we're heaps close
we hug and talk whenever we see each other in school
like sometimes we walk with each other around the school
when we're moving through classes
which i wish i could do with HIM
but i dont
if both guys were combined
they would make the perfect guy
i love both of them
but in different ways
i just wish sometimes HIM would be more like J.M in someways
in the way he treats me
but i cant force anything on to him
and i love him how he is
just like if he could show he cares about me
and that i am his bestfriend
it would make me happier
at times its also embarrassing to say i have a tiny crush on J.M
cause of all the other girls that go after him
and i'm sure he likes one of them right now
and i'm not gonna get in the way
me and him are HEAPS close
and i know we always will be
but i love HIM very much
not J.M
HIM
cause he is my bestfriend and the best thing ever to walk into my life
J.M will always be there for me
and i'm glad he is
and i will always be there for him
he makes me smile
just, HIM has already stole my heart
my heart melts everytime we're close
and i just get so nervous around him i lose words
i might still get confused
but i know who i love
and i know that no matter what
i will always still have my two guy bestfriends

Before i sign off i wanted to share what J.M said about me
he was there for me when i was crying
and wrote this to me to cheer me up
it was really sweet
and thought i should share it with you guys
he is just the greatest friend
my other guy bestfriend
"you are a very positive person, who care, is friendly, good sense of humour hence why you have many friends.. i tend to see that you can get attached to people, that not always a bad thing.. as long as you know where your boundaries are. which you normally do, i always see a smile on your face and definitely bring smiles to other peoples faces (:"
isnt he sweet
i love him as a friend very much
i dont want to ruin it by liking him
i may have a little crush on him
i just hope it doesnt grow

i love HIM very much
i hope that never changes
he is the greatest bestfriend in the world
the best guy in my life
the one i want in my life forever
he puts that smile on my face everyday
everything he does for me
makes me love him more
i cant live without him
and i hope that never changes

i hope my confusion goes away
it seems to be clearing up
i know that if i see HIM
i know i fall in love with him all over again
i just hate when i'm away from him
cause i miss him so much
sometimes it hurts
i just think about my love for him
and how much he cares for me
and i feel all better again
i love HIM
and i care about J.M very much

P.S sorry if this whole thing does not makes sens e
i just write what i'm thinking
and how i'm feeling
love all my readers

and shout out to A.C the girl
so glad we worked our shit out
love you little sister
<3