Friday, February 18, 2011

Meeee right now

well after around 5 days of hard work
cleaning and organising my room
i have finally finished
and this is a post long over due
for around a couple of days i have been wondering
I LOVE YOU
simple right ?
WRONG...
i started to remember the first time i heard those words
and the first time i said it back
it was awkward
and quite funny looking back on it now
idk if any of you watch O.C
but my experience is very similar
well more like exactly
like what happened between Marissa and Ryan the first time they said it
the only difference was that the rolls were switched
my ex said it to me first
we were hugging our goodbyes at the end of a school day
and as he held me, he whispered "i love you" in my ears
i was shocked
i didnt know what to do
i didnt know what to say
i was taken by surprise
so you could probably guess what i did
if you watch O.C
i took a pause
went out of his arms
and said "thank you"
and went home.
the whole way home i didnt know what to do
or how to take it
we said it all the time online
but never in person
it was weird
i started to regret not saying it back
as the night came near
and so the first thing the next morning
i went up to him
hugged him
and said "i love you"
its funny like that
we always thought it would be me first
but it was him
i miss that
not that i miss him
just what we had
because i loved him
and our time together
i just want that with someone else

you know right now
i'm not crushing on anyone
and in a way it feels good
but as evident from above
i'm getting by
i still want that coupley feeling
but idk if i want it now
i guess i just gotta wait

i love you readers so much
i feel i can write about anything
<3

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Guess Who!!!

I'M BACK
well not gonna write everyday
but will try to write every now and again
icbf updating
but i really missed writing to you guys
i've moved on from the drama
i'm not back to my writing self
for a while i didnt think i could write again
but i got a friend out there who likes my posts
and so to that friend i dedicate this one

this friend is a guy who i have known for like a couple years
well really only a year
but he is AWESOME
he is actually dating one of my CLOSEST friends
and yeah i respect him
he got my full acceptance
for all he has done for me
especially in my time of need
since i fought with .... well you know
i just wanna say to him
that i thank you very much
you were like the only one who believed i should not give up on my blog
you made me see that this is who i am
i didnt intentionally wanna hurt anyone
and i'm sorry i did
i'm over that now
but i'm so glad that one of my frequent readers
actually want me to keep writing
you are my inspiration
YOU ARE AMAZING
i'm happy to have you as a friend
and i'm behind you ALL THE TIME
in a non stalkering sense
fuck the losers who i used to call friends
FUCK EM

well i wanna make this post short
and so i'm gonna start again
this year i'm gonna make it different
i'm gonna vent alot
like every female blogger does
i'm gonna write what i want
i wanna not hurt anyone from my words
so this is it
i'm gonna start fresh i guess
dk how many times i've said that
i'm new and bright
and ready to write again

keep posted
<3